International Human Rights Day: Rally, Dinner, Conversation

Some Men Wear PINK

"Boys don't cross their legs like that."  "Cooking is a girls job."  "You run like a girl."  "Boys don't play with dolls."  "You whine like a sissy." " All male hairdressers are queer."  "Most waiters are gay."  "Flowers are for girls."  "You hold your cigarette like a fag."  "You walk like a gay dude."  "Boys don't cry."

                                                                                                                                                                        This is what I grew up hearing, these and so many more. I'm sure you could add to the list.. This was the neighborhood code of the day-- everyone in fear of being labeled a "fag."

Where did this shit come from and how does it affect me as a grown man of 54 years?  I really haven't asked myself those questions before this year. But being exposed to Arise and Out Now, working on hate and homophobia, being in the presence of a large contingent of LGBTQ folks, holding the banner at the opening ceremonies of Springfield Pride week, applauding and standing in solidarity with my friends as the rainbow flag is raised, marching up State street in Springfield to protest a hateful-homophobic pastor that spreads hate through the community in the name of God. (Yes, Scott Lively) is changing how I think.

I must begin by saying that I have always considered myself a very open person, accepting of most folks and cultures. I thought myself a kid who grew up in the post 60's era of free love, peace and rock n roll (The early 70's).  I was open to everything and loved being different. But as I look back, even then I was deeply affected by the code of society that dictated what was masculine and what was feminine. I didn't even realize how rigid I was.

     About 7 years ago my youngest daughter called me and said "Dad, I need to come and see you. I have to talk to you about something. " Well, I panicked. A sickness? Some crisis?  Maybe she was hurt in some way?  I had no idea what was wrong. She came over and told me she was gay. She also said she knew I would be accepting, understanding and not judge her for her sexual preference What she didn't know was that her free-love post 60's, peace, love and rock n roll, father took a deep breath of fear when she disclosed to me. I knew how I was supposed to act, but I couldn't quite get my footing.  After all, this is my daughter standing in front of me, telling me she is gay and her whole world is going to change and folks are going to not like her because she is gay, and she will lose jobs and people will discriminate against her, and GOD FORBID if she goes to the southern US, where she will be burned at the stake. I've seen what can happen to someone for just being different, but I kept my best poker face on. She left my house that day feeling that I fully understood and accepted her just as she was. And I do. But I worry.  What that day taught me is that I have been tolerant of the gay community all of my life, but until that day, I don't think I fully accepted gay folks. They were different. 'They weren't my daughter!

     This past week I watched myself have a interesting experience. I LIKE FLOWERS!  Does that make me gay? Does it in some way diminish my masculinity? Am I suppose to hide the fact that I love fresh flowers in a vase, in the house with my 7 male housemates? ( A little bio on my housemates) Everyone is 40 years old +, all of us are divorced from women. All of us are single. There are racist comments repeatedly from a few of them. (working on that one). We have a beautiful flower garden that was planted and cultivated by a former housemate, with many varieties of colorful flowers. I do not know the names of most of them.

A few days ago, I was cutting flowers for the vases. Arranging them just so. One of the guys came out and was watching me. I knew he was watching me. I straightened up a little, puffed chest- "What are ya doin?" he said. Almost by some instinctive, deeply ingrained masculine response, defiantly born of fear, I answered in deep manly bass tones, "Flowers are Fucking cool man"
Now my housemate said "What are you doin?" What I heard was a snaky-"Oh, look at that, are you playing with flowers girly-boy?" I immediately assumed a defensive posture. Defending my masculinity against the attack of the House Homosexual Patrol. (Real or Imagined). In my response to him I use the word FUCK several times and then invoked the term "My Ole Lady" Not once, or twice but three times, just to eliminate any lingering notion that  I was not being masculine. Manley. Tough. Guy Shit. (disclaimer) BTW. I never use that term "My Ole Lady" I fact, I really detest those words.

I could almost hear "Flowers are for Girls" and "You whine like a sissy".  I had an automatic fear driven response. Fear, learned long ago, deep lifelong lessons that go back generations. After I gathered the flowers and put them in the vase, I went to my room. I realize how pathetic I acted. I was somewhat sickened and ashamed. In getting some insight to where this shit comes from, I am now charged with understanding how it affects me and those around me. I do not believe this makes me dis-ingenious, on the contrary. I am more sensitive. Who fucking cares that I like flowers? And why does it affect me? I  also like the color PINK. ALLOT! Can you see it? I come home in a pink shirt with a pink gym bag and begin to pick flowers for the boys. OMG! (Thanks for that Idea Holly)

      But you see, that's what I want to do. All that. Without the fear. Without the judgement. Really! Ideally, I would come home in a nice pink shirt, because I like pink. And then pick a fabulous bouquet of fresh flowers and meticulously place them around the house. And not be looked at differently.And just as important, not feel as though I should be concerned with doing a "Feminine" task, as society and my roommates would view such an action.

     There are a lot of issues going on here. Honestly, more than I really understand. Lots of questions.
How do I learn to overcome the lessons Ive unconsciously learned throughout my life? What is a helpful answer to those who would ridicule in such a manner?  (Roommates, social situations, family, friends) Should I respond to comments with subtle sarcasm to engage the nefarious? Perhaps moral and  ethical pleadings? Should I ignore being called a "Fag?" Do I take it as a challenge? Should I give them a testosterone-turbo slap? My earliest lessons tell me "Them There's Fightin Words" and "You Gonna Let em call you that?"

Well friends, for now I'm going to skip the pink leotard's and continue to pick those flowers for my housemates and me to enjoy. After all, Autumn is setting in, and the flowers are almost gone.
Til Next Year!

By John Morris

    

The speech most people didn't hear about

From All Out:  March 21, 2012. It's not every day that a major world figure speaks out forcefully in defense of equality. But earlier this month, U.N. Secretary General Ban Ki-moon did just that when he made an incredibly powerful speech at the U.N. in Geneva. But most people didn't even hear about it.

Why? After the speech, the media focused on a handful of delegates who stormed out of meeting in protest. Their story - that gay people should be denied human rights - is the one that dominated the day's news. But with your help, we're going to change that.

Our friends at the U.N. let us REMIX Ban Ki-moon, so we took his speech and created this video. We hope you like it! After you watch, please share with your friends and family, helping this inspiring message reach the audience it deserves.

Five years in prison for being gay

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From Change.org: In November, two gay men in Cameroon were sentenced to five years in prison simply for being gay, the harshest penalty allowed under Cameroonian law. During the trial, according to the AFP, the judge issued some particularly homophobic comments, leading one lawyer to call the trial “a bad ruling,” and leading Amnesty International to label these men as “prisoners of conscience.”
The sentence comes on the heels of increased homophobia in Cameroon, and debates over legislation that would further criminalize homosexuality in the country. Human rights attorney Alice Nkom told AllOut.org that “Violence against gay people in Cameroon has skyrocketed to unprecedented levels: the situation is quickly becoming a crisis. The president of Cameroon can put a stop to this, and if he feels enough pressure he will do so.”
Help send a message to Cameroon that the world is watching, and won’t stand silent while people are sentenced to jail solely because of their sexual orientation. Demand the release of these gay men from prison.

National Coming Out Day!

George Takei vs. Tennessee's "Don't Say Gay" Bill

I have always loved George Takei He is my favorite Star Trek actor.

Scott Lively sure does love his poor people

Yup, that must be why Lively went to Europe's poorest country, Moldova, last month, to speak against an anti-discrimination bill.  (I thought the air near the corner of State and Walnut Sts., where both Arise and Lively's Holy Grounds Coffeehouse, are located, seemed fresher in March.)

Even though passing an anti-discrimination bill is essential if Moldova wants to join the European Union, bringing the country into the 21st century, Lively thinks the country should pass on that opportunity, if it means not discriminating against people on the basis of the sexual orientation.

"During his visit, Lively said ending discrimination against gays would be the first step towards the "homosexualization" of society and would be followed by granting gay people the right to marry and adopt children."  Radio Liberty.   The horror!


Uganda's anti-homosexuality bill, which was introduced in its legislature shortly after another visit by Scott Lively, isn't moving forward at the moment.  The bill includes:

• A 7-year jail sentence for consenting adults who have gay sex;
• A life sentence for people in same-sex marriages;
• Extradition and prosecution of LGBT Ugandans living abroad;
• The death penalty for adults who have gay sex with minors, consensual or no,  or who communicate HIV via gay sex, regardless of condom usage or consent;
• Jail for anyone who doesn't report suspected gay people within 24 hours;
• A ban on the "promotion" of homosexuality which is so open-ended that it would endanger HiV/AIDS treatment and sexual health clinics in the country;
• The ban could also be used to effectively exclude gay people from petitioning the courts by making those representing them liable for criminal action;
• Breaking all ties with international commitments and laws opposing the Anti-Homosexuality Bill.

You can sign a petition to the  Hon. Stephen Tashobya, Chair of the Legal & Parliamentary Affairs Committee to the Ugandan Parliament, against the bill at Care2.

Meanwhile, back in Springfield, MA, Arise and Stop the Hate/Stop the Homophobia are having a heck of a time trying to find members of the religious community to stand with us against Lively's homophobia.  Seems like if you call yourself a Christian, you can get away with a lot.  I wonder if these controversy-shy clergy ever ask themselves: What would Jesus do?

FYI, Lively has frequently said that he's not in Springfield to fight the culture wars.  However the Tea Party is using his headquarters to plan a Tax Day rally in Springfield.  That's not illegal, but it sure puts the lie to Lively's claim he only moved to Springfield to "rechristianize" Springfield. 

Be in touch with us if you want to help us stop hate and homophobia in Springfield.  Our next meeting is Thursday, April 29, 6 pm. at Out Now, 1695 Main St., 2nd. floor.

Photo of rural Moldova from Azkid2It's photostream at Flickr.

Springfield's First Gay Pride - Save the Date!

Arise's online poll about what to do with hate groups in our community closed this morning, and here's the results (which total more than 100% because people could vote in more than category):

• Drive them out! - 9%
• Leave them in place so we know where they are - 19%
• Counter-Demonstrate! - 57%
• Educate the community - 90%

Folks who've been following this blog know that at least some of us in this community have been galvanized to figure out a response to the presence of so-called  "Rev." Scott Lively in Springfield-- in fact, just a few doors down from our office!  One result is the formation of a new coalition, Stop Hate and Homophobia in Springfield.  We've been meeting regularly and meeting dates are posted on this blog.

One result already is that, for the first time (as far as anyone knows), there will be a Gay Pride event in Springfield!  Why should Boston and Northampton have all the fun?


Save the date: Saturday, July 16.  And if you want to get involved in organizing, post info here, or email Holly Richardson at outnow@comcast.net.

Image from AndresFalava.

Last week at Arise

CONGRATULATIONS, PEOPLE OF EGYPT!

Just ending a busy week at Arise and feeling as if we moved ahead.  Different Arise members went to other events, also, but from my end:

Monday: With the No One Leaves Coaltion, protested and temporarily postponed an auction of the Diaz' family home.
Tuesday: vigil for David Kato.  Very cold weather; about 20 of us took turns vigiling and going inside to get warm.  Met some new allies.
Wednesday: I spoke at WNEC Lw School with City Councilor Mike Fenton about the biomass incinerator and efforts to stop it.
Thursday: Back to the Diaz home, about 30 people, this time the bank buys the house back.  It's not over.  Then on to the Springfield Institute, for our second meeting of a coalition loosely titled, Group to Stop Hate and Homophobia in Springfield.  Arise, Out Now, Raging Grannies, and the OUTlaws from WNEC, plus more.  Next meeting March 3, place to be announced.
Friday: Brunch at Arise.  Every 2nd Friday, we invite members and folks who've stopped in during the week to join us.  A dozen people ate bananas and bagels and talked about why we care about social justice.  Then, at 3:30, ten of us attended the Community Coalition for Justice workshop on knowing your rights with the police.

Another busy week ahead.  Call us at 413-734-4948 to get involved.

David Kato Vigil: Tomorrow, Tuesday, 1 pm.

Don't forget-- in front of Arise, 467 State St.  Don't let hate grow in Springfield.  For more background, see here and here.   Please join us.

SNOW!

Weather even worse than predicted.  Liz and I are headed to Arise in case anyone shows up for the vigil for David Kato.  Obviously we will schedule another vigil ASAP.

Vigil for David Kato still happening

Weather may keep our numbers small, but we are still vigiling tomorrow for Ugandan gay rights activist David Kato at noon, in  front of Arise, 467 State St., Springfield.


David Kato would savor every snowflake that falls tomorrow.

David Kato's funeral - Tuesday vigil

ACTIVIST INSULTED AT HIS OWN FUNERAL:

The pastor presiding over the funeral of murdered gay rights activist David Kato went on an anti-homosexual rant Friday, adding insult to injury for the circle of activists hoping to honour and bury their friend.
It started out nicely enough, according to news reports, with friends offering reading tributes and statements of condolence from international leaders, including U.S. President Barack Obama. Then the priest, Anglican Pastor Thomas Musoke, took to the pulpit, saying that homosexuality is "evil and will be punished by God....Even the animals know the difference between a male and a female."
Pepe Onziema, of Sexual Minorities Uganda, reportedly pulled the microphone away from the priest, prompting a scuffle. Then the police moved in and whisked the priest away.
Villagers then refused to bury the coffin, so Kato's friends carried it to the grave and buried him themselves.
About 300 people attended the funeral outside the capital city of Kampala. The police still deny Kato's murder had anything to do with his sexuality and was more likely a robbery gone wrong. This is possible, but seems unlikely given the number of death threats he received after he was featured in a tabloid article purporting to expose "Uganda's top 100 homos." The government is likely spinning it this way because any suggestion Kato's murder may have been a hate crime opens a legal can of worms the government would much rather avoid. Most Ugandans oppose homosexuality and would not look favourably upon any government action to protect them from violence.
You can read a full account of the funeral here.
Meanwhile in the U.K., Ugandan lesbian Brenda Namigadde is trying to fight deportation back to her home country, fearing her life will be in danger if she returns. A British judge has ruled she is not really a lesbian, and she could be deported as soon as Saturday. Vancouver Sun.

PRESS RELEASE - For Immediate Release:  January 29, 2011 -  Media Contact:

Holly Richardson, Out Now (413.348.8234)

 

On Tuesday, February 1, 2011, Out Now, Arise for Social Justice and other concerned members of our community will hold a peaceful vigil in front of the Arise office to remember the life of David Kato, Ugandan LGBT human rights defender, murdered on January 26 in his home.  His violent death comes in the wake of threats, violence and intimidation that he himself and other LGBT individuals and their supporters have faced. In the most recent incident of incitement to homophobic violence, the faces, names and addresses of “alleged homosexuals” were published under the headline “Hang Them” by a local tabloid.

What:     Vigil

When:    February 1, 2011pm at 12:00pm

Where:   In front of the Arise for Social Justice office headquarters,

    467 State Street, Springfield

The murder of David Kato further highlights the concerns many here in our community have had with regard to the recent exposure of Scott Lively’s residency and work in Springfield.  Holly Richardson of Out Now states,” We are calling upon Scott Lively to stop his hateful rhetoric. She adds, “If Scott Lively is truly working to help improve the lives of the people in our city, as he says he is, than I would think he would want to start with a genuine apology for any of his actions that may have led to inciting violence at home or abroad.” 

Arise President Don James says, “We have to stand against oppression wherever we see it.  No one should have to be in fear of their lives because of their sexual orientation.”

The vigil will both show that members of our community will oppose and confront those who put forth hateful and violent rhetoric, and will honor the struggle for human rights for all people, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity.

Homeless shelter turns away gay people

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From Michael Jones at Change.org: The House of Mercy homeless shelter in Columbus, Georgia, might want to go back and read their Bible. There's a passage in Isaiah they should pay particular attention to: "Share your bread with the hungry, take the homeless into your homes, clothe the naked when you see him/her, do not turn away from people in need." But instead of following that line, the House of Mercy shelter has a rule on its books: if you're gay and homeless, you belong on the streets. Perhaps House of Mercy might consider a name change to House of Ignorance.
The CBS station in Columbus, WRBL, ran a story last week discussing two women who were booted out of the House of Mercy homeless shelter, because shelter staff thought they were gay. These were women who actually fled abusive homes, and as one of them told WRBL, she was expecting to be treated with compassion by the folks at House of Mercy.
"I was hoping that just by the name ... I was hoping for security," one of the women said. Instead, the woman says the way she was treated at the House of Mercy was unholy. "It was not a place of God."
The director of House of Mercy, Elder Bobby Harris, told WRBL that "practicing" gay people aren't welcome at his shelter, no matter how in need they might be.
"[Homosexuality] is not tolerated here at all. Let me tell you one reason why: because of the Bible, of course. And then we have little children ... We believe that Christ can change all. But when they begin to practice their acts," Harris says, there's nothing he can do for gay people in need.
Harris did not say where in the Bible Jesus gave permission to cast LGBT people out into the street, or refuse them service if they're needy or, in the case of these two women, fleeing violent homes. WRBL reached out to other homeless shelters in the area, and found that not a one, outside of House of Mercy, excludes gay people from being served. They interviewed Valerie McLain, who works at the Crisis Center of Russell County, and she told reporters that homeless shelters should be in the business of serving all who come through their doors, and not revictimizing those in need.
"We welcome anyone that is a victim. That's who we serve. We have no discrimination. We make no discrimination with anyone. We're not in the business of revictimizing the victim," McLain said.
Sounds like the House of Mercy not only needs to re-read their Bible, but they could also stand to learn a few lessons in service from other shelters in the area.
Meanwhile, here's the real kicker: the two women at the center of this controversy? They say they're not even gay, which means that the House of Mercy denied them service based on rumors or bad information. Still, one of the women told WRBL that even if she was gay, she would hope a homeless shelter would have enough compassion to help her out.
"If I was gay, and I had all these other issues and I came [to the House of Mercy], is that what you do to people going through stuff?" she asked.
Apparently so. How about sending the House of Mercy a message that this policy of excluding gay people is not only inconsiderate, it runs counter to the supposed religious teachings they hold dear. Check out the story below from WRBL for more information, and to see Elder Bobby Harris actually say on camera that it's his Christian duty to deny homeless gay people service.